"Love Takes Two: Children and Parents" Says Husein Ja'far Al-Hadar during UIN Jakarta's Parents Day
Harun Nasution Auditorium, UIN Online News — Husein Ja'far Al Hadar, commonly referred to as Habib Ja'far, participated in the National Father's and Mother's Day Seminar at the Harun Nasution Auditorium on Thursday (20/11/2025). The seminar's focus was "The Diverse Roles of Women in Relation to Mother's Day and the Impact of Fathers on Children's Emotional and Psychological Well-being."
Ja'far's intriguing focal point addressed 'How to Hate Your Parents in a Permissible Manner.' He recounted in his presentation that a young individual inquired, "How can one legally harbor animosity towards their parents?" and whether such feelings are permitted.
Ja'far deduced that the youth in question is probably among a growing demographic that, in terms of percentage, is starting to surpass those who wish to fulfill their obligations to their parents.
This occurrence is not coincidental; rather, Habib Ja'far observed a form of trauma in the parents that rendered the prevalent counsel of kindness towards them inconsequential. Furthermore, guidance regarding Father's Day and Mother's Day was equally inconsequential, as was all other information pertaining to parenting.
"An increasing number of young individuals are questioning their existence. For them, there's no point of being born if you are caged like a bird by your billionaire parents," he elucidated.
Backed up by statistical data, Ja'far substantiated this phenomenon by providing the case of 15 divorces among public figures in November, alongside statistics from the Ministry of Religious Affairs of the Republic of Indonesia (Kemenag RI) indicating a persistent rise in the divorce rate and a concurrent fall in the marriage rate.
"This raises an important inquiry: what occurs between children and their parents stays within themselves. As a result, the trauma experienced by these children stems from their objectification and the subjectivity of their parents," he elucidated.
He elucidated the realities of familial dynamics, indicating that it is not solely children that defy their parents, but there are numerous instances where the roles are inverted. While bad children are frequently discussed and mentioned, as in the well-known Indonesian folklore Malin Kundang, the phrase 'bad parent' is such an understatement.
"This is a phenomenon occurring around us that we must confront, regardless of our preferences. Every kid's dream is having their dad come back with the milk," he added.
Furthermore, the situation of children revolting against their parents is attributable to the desanctification of marriage and procreation. Historically, humans saw marriage and procreation as a religious act between ourselves and our deity.
"Sadly, in our generation, marriage and procreation lost their esteemed significance as traditions. It is evolving, but backward, which turns marriage into a mere celebration," he clarified.
Despite the neglect of marital traditions, low parenting knowledge is still a contributing factor to the phenomenon of bad parents, exacerbated by distracted physical interactions resulting from excessive gadget usage, with data indicating that Indonesia ranks among the countries with a notably high prevalence of mobile phone addiction, coupled with a lack of parental attention and presence towards children, culminating in adverse outcomes.
Ultimately, Ja'far implored all societal members to refrain from imposing the necessity of procreation inside the institution of marriage.
"If you are not yet proficient at handling your emotion, never have kids. Marriage is a sacred tradition only for couples who are worthy, particularly if it is only to showcase your children as social trophies," he urged.
(Meisa Aqilah N.H./Fauziah M./Zaenal M./Muhamad Arifin Ilham)